Absence makes the heart grow fonder

 

I guess I always seem to find comfort here, in this space.
A space where my memories are etched, perhaps, eternally..?
I can let out all my feelings in this space; scream, shout, vent and lose control.

In here, every piece of entry serves as a reminder of my happy moments.. as well as my mistakes.
And right at this very moment, after a week's worth of mental torture, I guess I finally chose to let it all out.





I've learnt that absence makes the heart grow fonder.
The more I yearn for something, and the more I can't reach it, I feel perplexed and tear myself up inside, trying to dig further through my soul to make amends.
Yet, no matter what I do, I can't seem to fix anything.
I don't know what I should do anymore...






Suffocation? This right here is suffocation itself. Not physically, but emotionally.
The distance is torturous, between you and me, I want to destroy it so badly but I can't.
I can't just leave us alone, I want to hear from you; I want to fight it with you, but I can't.
Well, we both can't.. There just isn't much spare courage that we can dig out.
It takes two hands to clap, and when one finally stops trying, nothing is ever going to work out.
I want to give up and make this emotional trauma leave me.
But despite the countless time I want to, my conscience fights its way through me, to give me strength to hold on.
So many things are happening at a go, it leaves me trapped up inside.
I yearn for the freedom to break free.
If only you could sense how I am feeling right now.

"The scariest thing about distance is you don't know whether they'll miss you or they'll forget about you. -The Notebook" 

I guess... this is a lesson learnt for me, that some things are better off left untouched.
When we venture too far into someone's life, we need to know the limit to where we are.
Sometimes we enjoy the moment and live in it, forgetting that our darkness engulfs us and persuades us to stay. Everyone should have their share of fun, and everyone has their darkness within them.
Its because we have the dark that we are truly alive. It is what makes us who we really are.
Because, nobody is perfect. None of us are. All of us have sinned but we know our limits, which is why we stop, and leave.

We found pleasure and happiness in the beginning. It was fun, and it was worth while. After that, you'd start to miss the feelings that you once had together... Letting sadness and loneliness engulf your soul. You'll burn up with the intense desire for longing, but we know, and we know it damn right well, that we are all no perfect human beings.There's a limit to stop before it gets out of hand, and we have to... let it all go.